How the Doctor Accidentally Kidnapped an FBI Agent
by SlasherrGirl
Summary: "Hello, I'm the Doctor and you somehow managed to accidentally walk into my time machine."


Spencer Reid was on his way back from a late night walk to the convenience store to get a jug of milk when he nearly walked into something right outside his home that was quite out of place.

He found himself utterly perplexed as he stared at the blue nineteen-fifties police box that had definitely not been there ten minutes ago when he had left. He examined it a bit closer, looking for wheels or anything really to give himself a plausible explanation for how it had gotten there. He supposed that somebody could have wheeled it over on a cart. Though that still left the question of _why_ exactly somebody had left a police box in such an odd place.

Curiosity getting the better of him, Spencer put down the jug of milk on the sidewalk and walked around to the front of the box so he could get a look inside. He knew that more likely than not it was just an empty box, though the strange set of circumstances gave him a right to think that there could be something-or even _someone_- inside. He gently pushed open the door.

He was a more than a little shocked at what was on the other side of the door.

His jaw fell as he stared into the enormous room. Way too enormous to be inside this small box. He took a few steps inside instinctively closing the door behind him. Being inside cemented that the impossible site before him was indeed real. He looked around, still in disbelief. He'd heard of things like this in science fiction circles and had read some papers on the subject of transdimensional engineering in theory. But it was completely astounding to see it actually put into practice.

"Well, who have we got here?"

Spencer looked up at the odd console in the center of the room find a woman with crossed arms and hair a huge mess of curls staring at him. She didn't seem angry with presence; she actually looked like she found him being there extremely amusing.

"Let me guess, police box in front of your door and you couldn't resist a peek?"

He nodded.

"Oh where are my manners? I've River Song. Who are you?"

"Spencer Reid."

"Well, Spencer I would advise moving because my husband is going to come tumbling through those doors in three, two…"

Before Spencer even had time to register her words, someone did come hurtling through the doors. He obviously was going fast enough that he couldn't control himself and went barreling into Spencer, landing on top of him.

"Ow…Sorry." he said hastily, getting up and walking over towards River. He carried on as if he was completely oblivious to the fact he had just tackled a complete stranger. He started fiddling with some of the assorted buttons and levers on the console, starting up a noise like water being sucked up into a vacuum. "So River, job taken care of. Getting within meters of the TARDIS should make those aliens want to go back home as quickly as possible. Time to bring you back to Stormcage."

River rolled her eyes and glanced over at Spencer. The look seemed to say "Wait for it."

He walked around to the other side of the console before stopping, walking a few steps backwards and whirling around to look at him. He marched over to him.

"You. How did you get on my TARDIS." He demanded, pointing his finger out at him.

"I-" started Spencer

"There's a perception filter on the TARDIS, you shouldn't have even noticed it was here. River did you let him in?"

"No. Obviously your perception filter needs fixing," quipped River

"River, I checked it yesterday."

"I'm sure you did." She said "Just like you checked the chameleon circuit right before it got stuck as a police box."

"That was not my fault," he huffed.

"So you keep telling me…" she sighed. "So are you actually going to do something about the man you've just taken halfway across the universe and thousands of years into the future?"

"What?" Spencer asked

"Ah yes. Hello, I'm the Doctor and you somehow managed to accidentally walk into my time machine."

"Time Machine? You're not serious." He said.

"I am completely serious. And before you express any more doubts keep in mind you're in a tiny blue box that's almost infinitely larger on the inside."

"I- I suppose that's a fair point."

The Doctor nodded. "Now, what's your name? If I'm going to have you in here for now I should at least know that."

"Dr. Spencer Reid."

"A Doctor? Well I suppose that makes three of us. Maybe I should invite Martha and Grace and make it a party."

The noise silenced and the machines in the center stopped whirring.

"Well Dr. Song. This is your stop."

"Until next time sweetie," she said, opening the door. "Have fun with _Pretty Boy_ over there,"

"How did you know-" Spencer asked, mouth agape. He was pretty sure the only people who knew that nickname aside from himself and Morgan were Garcia and Prentiss.

"Spoilers Spencer," she said with a mischievous grin and sparkle in her eyes as she slammed the door behind her.

"Now then, I really should get you back to your time." The Doctor said. "Although there is the matter of River knowing something about you she probably shouldn't have and you seeing through my perception filter…"

"Perception filter?" he asked curiously "You said it would keep me out, is it some sort of cloaking device?"

"Sort of…It makes people not notice it. So it's like you know it's there but you don't want to know it's there."

"Like the Somebody Else's Problem field from The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy?" he asked

"No, no, nothing at all like tha-" he started, then stopped midthought. "Actually, yes. Exactly like that. You're good for a human."

"Um thanks I guess. Wait what do you mean by 'for a human'?"

"Spencer, you're in a time machine slash spaceship that's bigger on the inside. Think about it."

"You're…You're an alien aren't you?"

"Yes I am. Any more questions?" he asked.

"Not really."

"Odd. Usually I get 'But you look human'"

"Well it's entirely likely that there was parallel evolution, different species adapting to very similar environments, or even some sort of common ancestor. It's not really that impossible." He said, shrugging.

"You're _very_ good for a human." The Doctor remarked, looking at Spencer, as if just contemplating him in general. He dug into the pocket of his jacket and pulled out something. He held it out to Spencer. It looked like a case for an ID…but it was blank.

"Why are you holding up a blank piece of paper?"

"It's psychic paper. It shows whatever I want it to. Unless the person I'm showing it to has psychic training or a very sharp mind. Didn't work on Shakespeare or JK Rowling." He paused. "_Have_ you had any psychic training?"

"No."

"Thought not. So Spencer. I could take you straight home. Or…." He shot Spencer a goofy grin "I could take you the scenic route."

"You could take me back in time?" he asked

"Back in time, to the future, or even another planet." He said boastfully. "What'll it be?"

"You could get me back to after I left right?"

"Spencer if it wasn't such a bad idea to cross timelines, I could get you back five seconds before you left."

"…Another planet."

The Doctor grinned again, switching on a lever and starting up the engines again. "Geronimo."

* * *

**A/N: So here it is, an answer to a fun little prompt given to me by Nymphadora-CullenBAU :D **

**And guys, I am definitely going to expand on this oneshot and make it a series. Just you wait :) **


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